OneeveningafewyearsagoIfoundmyselfinananxiety.Nothingwa...

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One evening a few years ago I found myself in an anxiety. Nothing was really wrong my family and I were healthy, my career was busy and successful — I was just feeling down and in need of a friend who could raise my spirits, someone who would meet me for coffee and let me shout until the clouds lifted. I dialed my best friend, who now lives across the country in California, and got her voicemail. That’s when it started to dawn on me — loneliness was at the root of my sadness. My social life had lessened to almost nothing, but somehow until that moment I’d been too busy to notice. Now it hit me hard. My old friends, buddies since college or even childhood, know everything about me; when they left, they had taken my context with them.

Research has shown the long-range negative consequences of social isolation on one’s health.

So I resolved to acquire new friends — women like me who had kids and enjoyed rolling their eyes at the world a little bit just as I did. Since I’d be making friends with more intention than I’d ever given the process, I realized I could be selective, that I could in effect design my own social life. The down side, of course, was that I felt pretty frightened.

After all, it’s a whole lot harder to make friends in midlife than it is when yon’re younger — a fact women I’ve spoken with point out again and again. As Leslie Danzig, 41, a Chicago theater director and mother, sees it, when you’re in your teens and 20s, you’re more or less friends with everyone unless there’s a reason not to be. Your college roommate becomes your best pal at least

partly due to proximity (亲近). Now there needs to be a reason to be friends. “There are many people

I’m comfortable around, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call them friends. Comfort isn’t enough to maintain a real friendship,” Danzig says.

At first, finding new companions felt awkward. At 40 I couldn’t run up to people the way my 4-year-old da ughters do on the playground and ask, “Will you be my friend? Every time you start

a new relationship, you’re vulnerable（易受伤的）again,” agrees Kathleen Hall, D Min, founder

and CEO of the Stress Institute, in Atlanta. “You’re asking, ‘Would you like to come into my life?’ It makes us self-conscious.”

Fortunately, my discomfort soon passed. I realized that as a mature friend seeker my vulnerability risk was actually pretty low. If someone didn’t take me up on my offer, so what: I wasn’t in junior high, when I might have been rejected for having the wrong clothes or hair. At my

age I have gathered enough self-esteem (自尊) to realize that I have plenty to offer.

A new friend, chosen right, can help you turn over a new leaf and point your boat in the direction you want to go. Hanna Dershowitz, 39, an attorney and mother in Los Angeles, found that a new acquaintance from work was exactly what she needed in a friend. In addition to liking and respecting Julia, Dershowitz had a feeling that the fit and athletic younger woman would help her to get in shape.

While you’re busy making new friends, remember that you still need to care for your old ones. We asked Marla Paul, author of The Friendship Crisis, for the best ways to maintain these important relationships. Keep in touch. Your friends should be a priority; schedule regular lunch dates or coffee catch-up sessions, no matter how busy you are. Know her business. Keep track of important events in a friend’s life and show your support. Call or e-mail to let her know you’re thinking of her. Speak your mind. Tell a friend (politely) if something she did really upset you. If you can’t be totally honest, then you need to reexamine the relationship. Accept her flaws. No one is perfect, so work around

her quirks (怪癖) – she’s often late, or she’s a bit negative — to cut down on frustration and fights.

Boost her ego. Heartfelt praises make everyone feel great, so tell her how much you love her new sweater or what a great job she did on a work project.

75.  What is the major function of the first paragraph?

A.  To summarize the whole passage.

B.  To introduce the topic of the passage.

C.  To tell the readers why we need friends.

D.  To inform the readers of what the author is.

76.  The author decided to make some new friends because              .

A.   she felt down and needed a friend to cheer her up

B.   her best friend left her and took everything away

C.  her friends didn’t have kids and enjoy the world

D.  she knew no friends around had a bad effect on her health

77.  Leslie Danzig thinks making friends at one’s middle age              _.

A.   is easier than that at a young age                          B. needs some reasons

C. makes others feel comfortable                             D. isn’t a real friendship

78.  According to the passage, with newly made friends, you can have a chance to           .

A.   take on a new look in your life                             B. get rid of your bad habits

C. lose more old friends                                           D. gather enough self-esteem

79.  In Mafia Paul’s book, to be a better friend, you should NOT              .

A.   keep track with your friends                               B. care for your friend’s job

C. help your friend to become perfect                      D. Praise your friend for her good dressing

80.  What can be the best title of the passage?

A.  A Mature Friend Seeker                                 B. A Well-chosen Friend

C. Mid-life Friendship                                         D. The Art of Friendship

【回答】

BDBACD

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